Prayer Request

I just learned a friend of mine from my Cambodia Mission Trip has passed away. He was an extraordinary man and a great crusader for Christ. He is part of the reason I recognized the call of ministry in my life and my heart is deeply saddened. I know that he has gone home and is dancing and singing with Christ already. I ask that you please keep his family in prayer as they deal with this loss and grief.

Father's Love Letter

I heard this at a True Campaign session and wanted to share it with everyone. It is called the Father's Love Letter and it is a love letter that comes straight from Scripture. So if you are feeling down or discouraged let this be a reminder to you of all the Love and Promises that God has for each one of us. Enjoy!

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father.Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad Almighty God

I know the plans I have for you...

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

This particular passage is familiar to many Christians. It is a passage that inspires hope and reminds us that God is in control of our lives. It is a passage that throughout my years as a Christian I had memorized and I could recite during times when life got messy. Yet, it wasn't until a year and a half ago that I truly came to understand and take hold of the promise that this passage has to offer.


In my last blog I wrote about the struggle I went through to find my way back to God. So I thought now I would spend sometime explaining how I got the call to go into ministry. From a very early age I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to join the California Highway Patrol. I was fascinated with the idea of fighting crime. However, when I fell ill at the age of 19 my dream of ever becoming a patrol officer quickly disintegrated.


It was then that I began to ask the question of what am I going to do now. I had a list of other career choices that I thought I would be good at or that I would enjoy, but nothing ever appealed to me quite like law enforcement. It was then that I began to pray about my options. It should have been a prayer that asked God what plans He had for my life, but at this particular point I didn't have enough faith yet to allow Him to make that decision for me. Instead I treated my prayers like a suggestion box. Dear God, I think I would be good at this and this and this so tell me what you think and maybe I'll check it out. I should have known better then to ask God to reveal to me what He thought because He gives straight forward answers even when it is not what you want to hear. And what I heard was ministry.You would think that that would be all that I needed to propel me toward a career in ministry, but I remind you that I am stubborn and have to learn the hard way. I was looking for the easy way out, the quick path to a career. I argued that ministry was just too hard, it would take too long and there was no financial benefit to it. I flat out told God no way. So off I went down my own path to find out what I should be doing.


I changed my degree choice as much as I changed my socks. At first I thought I would still go into criminal justice, but the idea of sitting behind a desk watching others handle the action was too painful. Next I thought how about dental hygiene, but I realized that the thought of working in people's mouths kinda grossed me out. Then I thought I would go into journalism because I liked to write and enjoyed doing it. I soon discovered that I hated writing for deadlines and about things that I had no interest in so that was out. At the end of 2 and a half years I still had no idea what I wanted do and a vast array of college credits that added up to squat. My next adventure was going to Le Cordon Bleu as a hospitality specialist, I was for sure this time that this career choice was going to stick. God had other plans.


It was during these years that I was growing leaps and bounds in my faith. I took the verse in Matthew about making disciples of all nations very seriously and told the Lord I would go if He would send me. (I know I am walking contradiction, but I don't always see it right away). I had always had a singing talent so I wanted to use that to glorify God. I got involved with a performing arts ministry that allowed me to travel the US one summer and very much wanted to work with them again. In the Spring of 2007 I got a call from the ministry asking if I would like to be a part of an intense mission to Cambodia. I jumped at the opportunity. The funding for it fell into place soon after so I did not doubt this was what God wanted me to do. However, a week before I was set to go I was dealing with some dark spiritual forces that were trying to stop me from going. I am so thankful I had a director who recognized what was going on and prayed the demon away. The next week I was on a plane headed for Cambodia.


My time spent there was faith changing. Never had I relied on God for so much. And it was there one night in the middle of an open lot while it was pouring down rain (we went during Monsoon season) that I finally recognized the call that God had placed on my life.


When I returned home I knew what I wanted to do, but I was all set to make my way down to hospitality school. So I gave it a shot. While I was there God was still moving in me from my experience in Cambodia. This time I began to pray a more sincere prayer. Lord, what are the plans YOU have for my life, where do I go from here. He answered with Matthew 9:37-38; the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few pray for God to send laborers out into the harvest. It was my answer. I knew what I needed to do. I withdrew from Cordon Bleu after only six weeks, came home and began to search for a Christian University. One of my team members from Cambodia was attending Liberty University in Virginia so one day in my searching I checked it out. It was an instant fit, I knew this was exactly where God wanted me. I applied and was accepted soon after. I began classes in January 2008 to work toward my degree in Religion. It is a year later and I am still so sure that this is what I am suppose to be doing. I am content in the calling that God has placed on my life. I am even looking to the future as I am already planning on pursuing a Masters. And the passage in Jeremiah has come to mean so much more. It was like it was almost written personally for me and my situation. He has always had plans for my life, one filled with wholeness and hope, but I was choosing to exile that part of my life from Him. Yet, when I sought Him and His plans with all my heart, mind and soul, it was then that He found me and brought my future into full view.

A Story Worth Telling

For a long time I believed that my personal testimony was not worth sharing. My story was not an exciting rescue by Christ in my darkest hour of need, in fact I can hardly remember what life was even like when I accepted Christ. I longed for a testimony that captivated people, that moved people, that stirred people in new ways, but that's just not how it happened. Yet, I am learning that even though my story may not be the most interesting it is still a story worth telling.

I had what you would call a typical Christian childhood. I was raised by Christian parents and was surrounded by godly people. In this way I count myself extremely blessed. At the age of seven in the back seat of a friend's car on the way home from Awana's one Wednesday night is where Christ became my personal Savior. At the age of eight I felt the intense call to be baptized. I know that is young, but I felt called so I obeyed. For the next nine years my faith did not waiver. I did not doubt my beliefs or question the lessons I had been taught growing up. I was blissfully ignorant of life outside of my bubble.

It changed though. In my tenth year as a Christian I began to pull away from the safety I had always known. I began to look at my life through different eyes. I was tired of being the good kid that everyone relied on. I was tired of taking everything that my parents taught as the ultimate guide for my life. So I rebelled. Call it being a teenager if you want, whatever, I wanted to test the waters. To discover something for myself. Let me make one thing clear, my rebellion was not what many would expect. I was not doing drugs, getting drunk, partying, sneaking out or anything like what someone would classify as "typical" teenage rebellion. My rebellion was spiritual. I simply walked away. I did want to be confined by the rules any longer so I began to look for answers outside my faith.

For a year I looked for answers in the world, in other religions and in the faith of my ex- boyfriend. I went as far as even being confirmed in his church. But the hole was still there, I still had not found what I was so desperately searching for. Then it happened. In the midst of a year of warring in spiritual agony I got sick. My world came crashing down in an instant. At age 19 you're not suppose to be weak and withered, you're suppose to be at the prime of your life, but day by day my body was failing. I went from specialist to specialist seeking answers. Test after test revealed no clue as to why I was so ill. When a neurologist finally gave me a label it came with very little hope attached. His words to me were there is nothing medically we can do for you, but with time you will learn to live with your disorder. Learn to live, I didn't want to learn to live, I should be living all already. I was broken.

It was in that moment that God began to minister to my heart. He began to call me back to Him. Actually, He had been there the whole time, watching me fall, wanting to hold me if I would allow Him to, but in my stubbornness I had refused Him time and time again. Yet, here I was broken, beaten and completely humbled. This was a battle I could not win on my own. I did not have the strength to face the road ahead by myself. So into His arms I ran, with tears streaming down my face, I began my life renewed in Him. It was not an easy road the next four years, I searched for cures and relied on God when no relief came. In the Summer of 2008 though God lead me to new doctors, one's who were not willing to rest or take another doctor's findings simply at face value. I got a new diagnosis, a treatment plan and a renewed sense of hope. God is good.

So it may not be the most valiant tale of rescue, but it is my own. I do not believe because my parents are believers or because I grew up going to church. I believe because God spoke to me and found me in the presence of personal darkness. I was refined by His fire, continue to be refined by His fire and my love and faith become stronger each time.