For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.
Jeremiah 29:11-14
This particular passage is familiar to many Christians. It is a passage that inspires hope and reminds us that God is in control of our lives. It is a passage that throughout my years as a Christian I had memorized and I could recite during times when life got messy. Yet, it wasn't until a year and a half ago that I truly came to understand and take hold of the promise that this passage has to offer.
In my last blog I wrote about the struggle I went through to find my way back to God. So I thought now I would spend sometime explaining how I got the call to go into ministry. From a very early age I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to join the California Highway Patrol. I was fascinated with the idea of fighting crime. However, when I fell ill at the age of 19 my dream of ever becoming a patrol officer quickly disintegrated.
It was then that I began to ask the question of what am I going to do now. I had a list of other career choices that I thought I would be good at or that I would enjoy, but nothing ever appealed to me quite like law enforcement. It was then that I began to pray about my options. It should have been a prayer that asked God what plans He had for my life, but at this particular point I didn't have enough faith yet to allow Him to make that decision for me. Instead I treated my prayers like a suggestion box. Dear God, I think I would be good at this and this and this so tell me what you think and maybe I'll check it out. I should have known better then to ask God to reveal to me what He thought because He gives straight forward answers even when it is not what you want to hear. And what I heard was ministry.You would think that that would be all that I needed to propel me toward a career in ministry, but I remind you that I am stubborn and have to learn the hard way. I was looking for the easy way out, the quick path to a career. I argued that ministry was just too hard, it would take too long and there was no financial benefit to it. I flat out told God no way. So off I went down my own path to find out what I should be doing.
I changed my degree choice as much as I changed my socks. At first I thought I would still go into criminal justice, but the idea of sitting behind a desk watching others handle the action was too painful. Next I thought how about dental hygiene, but I realized that the thought of working in people's mouths kinda grossed me out. Then I thought I would go into journalism because I liked to write and enjoyed doing it. I soon discovered that I hated writing for deadlines and about things that I had no interest in so that was out. At the end of 2 and a half years I still had no idea what I wanted do and a vast array of college credits that added up to squat. My next adventure was going to Le Cordon Bleu as a hospitality specialist, I was for sure this time that this career choice was going to stick. God had other plans.
It was during these years that I was growing leaps and bounds in my faith. I took the verse in Matthew about making disciples of all nations very seriously and told the Lord I would go if He would send me. (I know I am walking contradiction, but I don't always see it right away). I had always had a singing talent so I wanted to use that to glorify God. I got involved with a performing arts ministry that allowed me to travel the US one summer and very much wanted to work with them again. In the Spring of 2007 I got a call from the ministry asking if I would like to be a part of an intense mission to Cambodia. I jumped at the opportunity. The funding for it fell into place soon after so I did not doubt this was what God wanted me to do. However, a week before I was set to go I was dealing with some dark spiritual forces that were trying to stop me from going. I am so thankful I had a director who recognized what was going on and prayed the demon away. The next week I was on a plane headed for Cambodia.
My time spent there was faith changing. Never had I relied on God for so much. And it was there one night in the middle of an open lot while it was pouring down rain (we went during Monsoon season) that I finally recognized the call that God had placed on my life.
When I returned home I knew what I wanted to do, but I was all set to make my way down to hospitality school. So I gave it a shot. While I was there God was still moving in me from my experience in Cambodia. This time I began to pray a more sincere prayer. Lord, what are the plans YOU have for my life, where do I go from here. He answered with Matthew 9:37-38; the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few pray for God to send laborers out into the harvest. It was my answer. I knew what I needed to do. I withdrew from Cordon Bleu after only six weeks, came home and began to search for a Christian University. One of my team members from Cambodia was attending Liberty University in Virginia so one day in my searching I checked it out. It was an instant fit, I knew this was exactly where God wanted me. I applied and was accepted soon after. I began classes in January 2008 to work toward my degree in Religion. It is a year later and I am still so sure that this is what I am suppose to be doing. I am content in the calling that God has placed on my life. I am even looking to the future as I am already planning on pursuing a Masters. And the passage in Jeremiah has come to mean so much more. It was like it was almost written personally for me and my situation. He has always had plans for my life, one filled with wholeness and hope, but I was choosing to exile that part of my life from Him. Yet, when I sought Him and His plans with all my heart, mind and soul, it was then that He found me and brought my future into full view.
In my last blog I wrote about the struggle I went through to find my way back to God. So I thought now I would spend sometime explaining how I got the call to go into ministry. From a very early age I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to join the California Highway Patrol. I was fascinated with the idea of fighting crime. However, when I fell ill at the age of 19 my dream of ever becoming a patrol officer quickly disintegrated.
It was then that I began to ask the question of what am I going to do now. I had a list of other career choices that I thought I would be good at or that I would enjoy, but nothing ever appealed to me quite like law enforcement. It was then that I began to pray about my options. It should have been a prayer that asked God what plans He had for my life, but at this particular point I didn't have enough faith yet to allow Him to make that decision for me. Instead I treated my prayers like a suggestion box. Dear God, I think I would be good at this and this and this so tell me what you think and maybe I'll check it out. I should have known better then to ask God to reveal to me what He thought because He gives straight forward answers even when it is not what you want to hear. And what I heard was ministry.You would think that that would be all that I needed to propel me toward a career in ministry, but I remind you that I am stubborn and have to learn the hard way. I was looking for the easy way out, the quick path to a career. I argued that ministry was just too hard, it would take too long and there was no financial benefit to it. I flat out told God no way. So off I went down my own path to find out what I should be doing.
I changed my degree choice as much as I changed my socks. At first I thought I would still go into criminal justice, but the idea of sitting behind a desk watching others handle the action was too painful. Next I thought how about dental hygiene, but I realized that the thought of working in people's mouths kinda grossed me out. Then I thought I would go into journalism because I liked to write and enjoyed doing it. I soon discovered that I hated writing for deadlines and about things that I had no interest in so that was out. At the end of 2 and a half years I still had no idea what I wanted do and a vast array of college credits that added up to squat. My next adventure was going to Le Cordon Bleu as a hospitality specialist, I was for sure this time that this career choice was going to stick. God had other plans.
It was during these years that I was growing leaps and bounds in my faith. I took the verse in Matthew about making disciples of all nations very seriously and told the Lord I would go if He would send me. (I know I am walking contradiction, but I don't always see it right away). I had always had a singing talent so I wanted to use that to glorify God. I got involved with a performing arts ministry that allowed me to travel the US one summer and very much wanted to work with them again. In the Spring of 2007 I got a call from the ministry asking if I would like to be a part of an intense mission to Cambodia. I jumped at the opportunity. The funding for it fell into place soon after so I did not doubt this was what God wanted me to do. However, a week before I was set to go I was dealing with some dark spiritual forces that were trying to stop me from going. I am so thankful I had a director who recognized what was going on and prayed the demon away. The next week I was on a plane headed for Cambodia.
My time spent there was faith changing. Never had I relied on God for so much. And it was there one night in the middle of an open lot while it was pouring down rain (we went during Monsoon season) that I finally recognized the call that God had placed on my life.
When I returned home I knew what I wanted to do, but I was all set to make my way down to hospitality school. So I gave it a shot. While I was there God was still moving in me from my experience in Cambodia. This time I began to pray a more sincere prayer. Lord, what are the plans YOU have for my life, where do I go from here. He answered with Matthew 9:37-38; the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few pray for God to send laborers out into the harvest. It was my answer. I knew what I needed to do. I withdrew from Cordon Bleu after only six weeks, came home and began to search for a Christian University. One of my team members from Cambodia was attending Liberty University in Virginia so one day in my searching I checked it out. It was an instant fit, I knew this was exactly where God wanted me. I applied and was accepted soon after. I began classes in January 2008 to work toward my degree in Religion. It is a year later and I am still so sure that this is what I am suppose to be doing. I am content in the calling that God has placed on my life. I am even looking to the future as I am already planning on pursuing a Masters. And the passage in Jeremiah has come to mean so much more. It was like it was almost written personally for me and my situation. He has always had plans for my life, one filled with wholeness and hope, but I was choosing to exile that part of my life from Him. Yet, when I sought Him and His plans with all my heart, mind and soul, it was then that He found me and brought my future into full view.
I just wanted to say thank you for the support, it means a lot, I think sometimes you get so use to so many people putting down a part of who you are you start to forget that there are those out there that don't, and it was a very refreshing reminder :)
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